A tourist on a visit to America was sitting in a club during a dance, when he was suddenly approached by an American girl who said to him, quite sadly,
"Mr. Tourist, don't I have any glamour?"
"Why ofcourse you do," replied the tourist.
"Then why don't the boys date me?" the girl asked.
"Dating" in western countries refers to the social custom of boys inviting girls [or vice versa] to go out somewhere with them. In this way, boys and girls become acquainted with each other before marriage [or without the intention of a long-term relationship or marriage] This practice has become so common that a girl who is not "dated" by one or more boys begins to feel herself of inferior value on the marriage market.
In former times, dating as a system of courtship, was confined to meetings during which conversation could take place. But then the moral climate changed so much that such meetings became occasions for sexual intimacy. The most recent development is to "date" a girl and then forcibly have sex with her - in fact, rape her.
TIME magazine has published a revealing report entitled, "When the Date Turns to Rape":
Susan, now 22 and a college senior, was raped almost 3 years ago on a first date. She met the man in a cafeteria at summer school and went to his dorm that evening to watch television news and get acquainted. After 45 minutes of chit chat about national affairs, he began pawing and kissing her, ignoring her please to stop. "YOU REALLY DON'T WANT ME TO STOP," he said, and forced her to have sex. TIME, March 23rd, 1987
TIME's report shows how common 'date-rape' has become. "Date rape," according to some researchers, is a major social problem so far studied mostly through surveys of college students. In a three-year study of 6,200 males and female students on 32 campuses, Kentucky State psychologist Mary Koss found that 15% of all women reported experiences that met legal definitions of forcible rape. More than half those cases were date rapes.
Andrea Parrot, a lecturer at Cornell University, estimates that 20% of college women at two campuses she surveyed had been forced into sex during their college years or before, and most of these incidents were date rapes. The number of forcible rapes reported each year - 87, 240 in 1985 - is believed to be about half the total actually committed.
Says Koss: "You're alot more likely to be raped by a date than by a stranger jumping out of the bushes."
Some feminists argue that the U.S. has a "rape culture" in which males are encouraged to treat women aggressively and women are trained to submit. (TIME, March 23rd, 1987, pg. 35)
Mr. Sri Prakash, former governor of Maharashtra, and India's first High Commissioner in Pakistan, mentions in his memoirs that in 1947 he once asked an Englishman why his countrymen had such a low opinion of Indians. One of the things which the Englishman cited was the number of restrictions there were regarding marriage, which was totally alien to the European concept of the boy and girl choosing one another and then getting married. He obviously despised the "social shackles" which prevented this from happening in India.
When women's liberation was launched, the demolishing of such "social shackles" seemed a very attractive idea. But when the lifting of restrictions on the degree of intimacy which could develop between the opposite sexes began to lead with increasing frequency to rape, the pendulum of opinion began to swing back nd forth in favour of traditional restrictions as being the healthiest social principles to follow. It has become all too obvious that the path of sexual freedom can lead society only to its own destruction.
By Wahiduddin Khan